In The Shadow of Toxicity: Unmasking The Signs Of a Toxic Mother  


Rookmini Tewari

Family & Parenting

5 Mins Read

December 19, 2023

8 Signs You Were Raised By A Toxic Mother

While children are growing up, they won’t be able to tell whether their mother is toxic. Mothers are usually strong and divine human beings. After all, they feed you, dress you, and love you unconditionally. But what are their faults? You might be eagerly waiting what are the 8 signs you were raised by a toxic mother.

On the other hand, a toxic mother won’t be able to recognize the impacts of their behavior. Furthermore, why do children grow up feeling unloved or disrespected? After that, when they grow up to be adults, they suffer further from anxiety, unhealthy coping skills, depression, and so on.

When it is all about a toxic mother, then it seems the signs your mother hates you. Perhaps a mother’s intentions were pure, but she failed to express her opinion or love towards her children. A child can easily forget their mother’s unconditional love.

8 Signs You Were Raised By A Toxic Mother

8 Signs You Were Raised By A Toxic Mother

After getting older, you will be able to realize that your mother was toxic. In this case, you won’t be able to control your mom’s behavior. Below, I am going to discuss the 8 signs you were raised by a toxic mother.

1) Challenges Expressing Your Emotions

If a child is dealing with a toxic mother, then it means they will feel ashamed of uttering their emotions. On the other hand, this leads to difficulty in the future, especially while expressing themselves.

Particularly, an over-controlled or critical mother can leave you anxious. At the same time, it makes you feel ashamed to express your feelings around the people you have. While toxic mothers don’t respond to or even won’t feel it is necessary to validate, their child might feel unimportant.

In this case, mothers must provide their children with enough guidance and emotional support. If a child lacks the opportunity to express or identify their feelings, they might not feel healthy. Even their feelings become more adult.

2) Fear Of Failure

If you have a toxic mother, then it can instill the fear of failure in their daughters. On the other hand, this leads to avoiding taking risks along with opportunities. One sign that you will feel that you have a toxic mother is overprotectiveness. However, the consequences are all about the fear of failure, preventing you from taking the next steps, and so on.

If you have a mother who is too critical or harshly punishable, then this can lead them to develop a fear. On the other hand, criticism and punishment force their children to believe in them, which can’t give them success independently. Aside from that, mistakes are unacceptable.

3) Inability To Trust

When a girl notices they are unworthy of being trusted, this could be a sign of her toxic mother. If a mother feels inconsistent or fails to provide, this means lacking emotional support for her daughter.

At the same time, the child could have many challenges forming new relationships. Mothers who are neglectful or overcontrolling can create an inability for their daughters to trust.

If a mother is too controlling, then this means her child might feel their autonomy has already been taken away.

They might not trust their mothers will allow them to make their own decisions. In this case, her toxic behavior might develop a sense of insecurity when her child becomes an adult.

4) Overcompensating

Mothers will try to compensate for their shortcomings by giving their daughters more needs. Furthermore, they must try to take on many roles in their children’s lives, such as acting as a mother and father. A mother will also try to buy her child’s love or prevent them from making mistakes.

If a child is overcompensating, then there are some signs of this. In this case, he/she will hide her shortcomings, talking negatively and excessively focusing on minor achievements.

5) Perfectionism

One of the signs that a toxic mother has is perfectionism. In this case, perfectionism starts when a mother sets high anticipations for her daughter. At the same time, a toxic mother mostly reinforces her daughter in terms of achieving more than she can do. This is also one of the most critical signs your mother resents you.

When the child becomes an adult, she will believe there is no more room for making mistakes. This will have a specific manner of doing things, whether right or wrong. The child will always think about the result and what it takes to achieve the career goal.

6) Poor Decision Making

If your mother is toxic, then she would contribute to her kids becoming poor decision-makers in several ways.

In this case, a mother doesn’t support or guide her daughter. She won’t even care to develop her decision. Although a toxic mother doesn’t give her child any supervision or even feedback, a child can make decisions.

Children usually develop poor decision-making skills when their mothers want to control more. As a result, a child will feel powerless and can’t care about her mother’s opinion. This leads her to make bad decisions.

7) Unhealthy Attachment Patterns

Toxic mothers can do so many things, which lead their daughters to develop an unhealthy attachment. Inconsistent parenting styles, insensitivity to a child’s requirements, and so on can make a child develop an unhealthy attachment pattern.

In this case, if you have an unhealthy attachment pattern, then it can result from unresolved mother issues. At this moment, she will also struggle to hold her emotions as she grows up.

Sometimes, children might not find themselves toxic. After that, they can realize in their adulthood when certain things can be lived. Particularly, this happens when you are unable to trust, express emotions, and so on. Having these symptoms in your mind is one of the major signs of your toxic mother.

8) Poor Self-Esteem

It is sometimes common for your mother to criticize you. Being a daughter, you might feel bad. Not only that, but some mothers make their daughters feel guilty. These traits cause a daughter to have low self-esteem when she becomes older.

In this way, they develop unhealthy behavioral patterns such as people-pleasing and self-sacrifice. Eventually, a child sometimes feels negative and low-confident as well.

In Conclusion

I have discussed eight signs you were raised by a toxic mother above in this article. If you have a toxic mother, then she will tend to belittle her child. She will also compare them to others, ask questions about their worth, etc. On the other hand, toxic mothers often say hurtful and bad things. These are none but an inner mental struggle for a child. I hope you liked this article. If you have queries, please comment below!

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